A Gaggle Of Redshirts
by c-wolf
Summary: Halloween Fic with Star Trek Red Shirts roaming around in it.  O.C. deaths, a little angst at the end.


Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy or Star Trek

(This is strictly for… well, there is humor. But there are deaths too. Slight angst. Blame the pure stupidity of a lot of it on a friend who was tipsy one night. He's the one who jumpstarted this dead and decaying plot bunny. Note, first intro of a changed person was his idea verbatim. Very last bit at end of story was my contribution to his part.)

Ethan stretched and smiled slightly as he stared around at all the unique toys he was going to play with.

"This'll be fun." He said as he rubbed his hands together. "I can't wait."

Behind him, in a bin off in a corner, were surplus costumes consisting of only one kind that he had gotten a deal one when buying the rest. They were in various and sometimes shocking sizes.

It wouldn't be until after he cast his spell that he would realize what a gift of chaos he'd given himself and Janus.

(insert Divider Line)

Mrs. Ronnelly was enjoying herself. Her husband of course was hiding out. He disliked the "Noisy Brats" as he called children. But she loved the different costumes kids would wear.

Of course, she was occasionally baffled by some odd choices.

"Excuse me dear." She started to say to a small child wearing a demon costume with a red star trek shirt over it. Over a shoulder was a bag of some sort. "What kind of character is that?"

Then she blinked as the costume started to shift.

It roared.

She screamed.

It roared again.

She fainted.

It moved the bag around and a sound started coming out of it. The creature blinked down and shook it as it stared around in befuddlement.

"Mrrr?"

Then it heard a sound and turned around.

Willow paused at the sound of a loud, inhuman scream. Then she saw Xander and started yelling his name.

(insert Divider Line)

Not 30 seconds ago, Johnny had finished shoving Pringles the cat into a miniature thing made of something soft. Her paws had been unceremoniously shoved through long things. While it didn't restrict her movement, she'd definitely laid her ears back and hissed.

Then she got shoved into her carrier and went along for a boring ride.

Roger blinked his eyes and stared around at his surroundings. He was in some type of cage, lying on its side. Then he noticed something weird.

He had four legs, fur, and had started licking himself while he was figuring out where he was. Then he discovered he was missing something.

Pringles later found herself curled up in a ball inside her family's home. Across the room was her shredded cat carrier. Pieces of it were stuck in her fur. She'd investigate later.

Scratched into the wall next to her were words that she was oddly able to read. But definitely didn't understand.

"Please, someone find my manhood!"

(insert Divider Line)

Across town, Larry the Pirate charged a man in red. The man pointed something at him and a light shot out.

"No Xand…Scottie!"

"He's only stunned."

"We need to get him off the street."

"Lead the way Lass."

Larry woke up with a headache a few hours later. It'd be a while before he stopped trying to figure out how he wound up locked up inside a lingerie store. Beside him was a bottle of Scottish Whiskey and a note.

"Sorry for the trouble."

(insert Divider Line)

Spike grinned as he and his small force of minions and changed children chased Buffy, Xander, and Angel through an alley.

As they ran out the other side, he heard some noises. Five figures in red popped out from behind a car as Buffy and friends ran by. They pointed what Spike knew to be phasers after what Xander had done to one of his minions, and fired.

Spike dodged. Four vampires turned to dust, and the five figures screamed as the costumed children landed on them and started to eat.

Spike grinned. "This is fun."

He and his surviving minions continued to chase their prey. Some of the children were still with them.

Behind him, five members of The Mayors publicity staff who'd decided to dress up, were scattered around. Some of the local pests had a good meal for the next two days.

At the shop, Ethan grinned as he felt all the chaos. Then Giles walked in.

"Hello Ripper." He started to say, until he noticed Giles wearing a yellow costume and pointing a phaser. "Did someone buy you a gift?"

In later days, Giles would come to detest the "reflexes" and general run of luck he'd gotten from Kirk. Though other things were an advantage when he was with Jenny Calendar.

Xander found himself with a slight Scottish brogue, and a collection of Scottish drinks that he couldn't remember stealing.

The repair skills Scotty had were only useful in his century, so the phasers couldn't be kept up to spec. They were reserved for times of world ending. A watcher named Andrew was later able, with the help of Xander to make a lesser power source. With two shots per charge.

One child was found dead in his monster costume and red shirt. An unidentified creature was found touching him. The child's hand and the creatures claw were imbedded in each others chests. The parents moved away soon after.


End file.
